An American tourist in London is wandering around the city, taking in the sights and generally getting to know the people. Every so often he stops at a pub, orders a pint and takes the opportunity to chat with the natives.

Eventually the beer catches up with him. He has to go, but he’s in a part of the city with no pubs, no stores, no restaurants and no public toilets, just large, stately residences. Close to the point of passing out, he finds a narrow side street with high walls on both sides and opts to take a leak there.

He starts to unzip his trousers, but then feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns his head to find a policeman stood behind him.

“I’m sorry, sir, but you can’t do that here,” says the policeman.

“I’m sorry as well, officer,” replies the American, “but I really, really have to go and I can’t find a public toilet.”

“Follow me, sir,” says the policeman, who proceeds to lead the American to a wall with a small gate. Opening the gate, he says “Try in there.”

The American goes through the gate and emerges into the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Everything is perfection: manicured lawns, statuary, fountains and sculptured hedges, one of which he waters generously.

As he goes back through the gate, he says to the policeman, “Thanks. Was that an example of British hospitality?”

“No, sir,” replies the policeman. “That was the French Embassy.”

Tags: police jokes