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Two nuns decide to tour Europe. They start at
the Vatican City, making their way in their little car through
Italy, Spain, France and Germany before entering Eastern Europe.
Finally they arrive in Transylvannia late one evening as the
last rays of the sun depart below the horizon.
At the first set of traffic lights they stop
at, a baby vampire jumps onto the bonnet, bares his fangs
and begins to hiss at the nuns.
"Wait until we're moving again," says Sister
Mary in the passenger seat, "Then hit the windscreen wipers."
The traffic lights change to green, so Sister
Bernadette in the driver's seat pulls away and duly starts
the windscreen wipers. They drive along the main highway at
60 mph with the baby vampire gamely holding onto the windscreen
wipers, refusing to let go and continuing to hiss at them.
They come to a halt at another set of traffic
lights and Sister Bernadette switches off the windscreen wipers.
"Any more ideas?" she asks.
"When you pull away this time, squirt him with
the windscreen washer and then hit the wipers," says Sister
Mary. "I topped up the bottle with holy water before we left
the Holy See. That'll fix him."
The lights change to green, Sister Bernadette
pulls away, hits the windscreen washer and then starts the
wipers. The holy water burns the baby vampire, but he refuses
to budge and continues to hiss at them.
They come to a halt at a third set of lights
and Sister Bernadette switches off the windscreen wipers.
"What now?" she asks Sister Mary.
"I know!" says her companion. "Show him your
cross!"
"OK!" says Sister Bernadette, who unbuckles
her seat belt, gets out of the car and hollers at the little
vampire "Oi! You piece of undead shit! Get the fuck off my
car!"
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