"I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife," the young man said, eyeing the attractive salesgirl. "But I don't know her size."

"Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his.

"Oh, yes," he answered. "Her hands are just slightly smaller that yours."

"Will there be anything else?" the salesgirl queried, as she wrapped the gloves.

"Now that you mention it," he replied, "She also needs a bra and panties."

While looking around, he notices a drop dead gorgeous female clerk behind the counter. He walks up to the counter where she is standing, unzips his pants, pulls his chopper out and places it on the counter.

"What are you doing, Sir?", she asks. "This is a clock shop!"

He replies "I know it is and I would like two hands and a face put on this."

A man and his young son are in a chemist's shop, when the son sees the shelf of condoms.

"What are these for, Dad?" he asks.

His dad replies "Well son, those are condoms and they're for protection when you're having sex."

The son picks up one of the packs and asks why it has three in it.

His dad replies "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday."

The son picks up one with six condoms asks "Why six?"

His dad replies "Well son, those are for college men. Two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday."

The son notices the twelve pack of condoms and asks "Why twelve?"

His dad replies "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March..."