The Emperor of Japan advertised for a new chief samurai warrior. Three people applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish samurai.

“Demonstrate your skills!” commanded the Emperor.

The Japanese samurai stepped forward and opened a tiny box to release a fly. He drew his sword and swish! The fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two.

The Chinese samurai smiled and opened a tiny box to release a fly. He drew his sword and swish! swish! The fly fell to the floor, neatly quartered.

The Jewish samurai stepped forward and released his fly. He drew his sword and swooooooosh! The speed of his sword created a gust of wind.

The fly let out a high-pitched scream, but continued to fly around.

“What kind of skill is that?” asked the Emperor. “The fly isn’t even dead”.

“Dead, schmead” replied the Jewish samurai. “Dead is easy. But circumcision, now that takes skill.”

An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinaman are hired at a construction site.

The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, “You’re in charge of sweeping.”

To the Scotsman he says, “You’re in charge of shoveling.”

And to the Chinese guy, “You’re in charge of supplies.”

He then says, “Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile.”

So the foreman goes away for a couple hours and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched.

He asks the Italian, “Why didn’t you sweep any of it?”

The Italian replies, “I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinesa fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere.”

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, “And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile.”

The Scotsman replies, “Aye, ye did laddy, boot ah couldna get meself a shoovel! Ye left th’ Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah could nay fin’ him either.”

The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells “SUPPLIES!”

A Chinese man had three daughters.

He asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry.

“I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest,” said the eldest daughter.

He asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry.

“I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest,” said the second daughter.

And finally he asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry.

She replied “I would like to marry a man with one draggin’ on the ground.”