A gay couple are out for a drive one afternoon.

While stationary at a set of traffic lights, they are rear ended by a white van.

Furious, the guy in the passenger seat gets out of the car, walks to the van and starts banging on the door. The van driver opens the door and the gay guy says “I’m going to sue your arse.”

The van driver laughs and says “Suck my dick!”

The gay guy stands there for a second, then his eyes get really big and his face lights up.

He runs back to the car and says excitedly to his partner “You won’t believe it, but he wants to settle out of court.”

Two penises were walking down the street.

One spotted a gay bar, so he said to the other penis “Let’s go in there and get shit faced!”

A tramp finds a five pound note in the street. Thanking his lucky stars, he heads straight for the off licence and buys a bottle of white wine.

It takes no more than an hour for the tramp to polish off the vino, whereupon he collapses in a doorway and falls into a drunken stupor.

A few minutes later, a homosexual passes the sprawled body of the tramp. Not having enjoyed much in the way of sexual activity for a while, he pulls down the tramp’s trousers and does the dirty deed. Before leaving, he tucks a five pound note into the tramp’s coat pocket.

After waking the next day, the tramp discovers the fiver in his pocket. He can barely believe his good fortune at finding a fiver two days running, so he heads back to the same off licence and buys another bottle of white wine. Retiring to the same doorway as before, he downs the vino in some style and, once again, passes out.

Some time later, the same homosexual walks by and notices the tramp. Unable to contain himself, he does the dirty deed once more; and, once again, he leaves a fiver in the tramp’s coat pocket.

The following day the tramp awakens and finds yet another fiver in his coat pocket, so it’s away to the off licence once more post haste. This time he takes a bottle of red wine and hands it to the sales assistant.

By now familiar with the tramp’s usual habits, the sales assistant asks why he is buying red wine today.

“I quite like the white wine,” replies the tramp. “But it doesn’t half make my arse sore.”

A gay couple are out for a drive one afternoon when they are rear ended by an articulated truck.

Furious, the guy in the passenger side throws his purse on the seat, gets out of the car, goes back to the truck and starts banging on the door.

The truck driver opens the door and the gay guy, standing there with his hands on his hips, says “I’m gonna sue your ass!”

The truck driver laughs and says “Suck my dick!”

The gay guy stands there for a second, then his eyes get really big and his face lights up.

He runs back to the car, and says excitedly to his lover “You won’t believe it, but he wants to settle out of court!”

Three men, a black guy, a white guy and a Spanish guy die in a car crash and go to heaven.

St. Peter appears. He points at a bridge crossing a yawning drop into Hell and says “If you can cross this bridge without having an erection, you can come into Heaven; but fail and you will fall into Hell for all eternity.”

The black guy says “I can do that” and begins to walk across the bridge.

Halfway across, he meets a gorgeous blonde with 38DD tits and a shaven pussy. She smiles at him, turns around and bends over.

“Let’s see what you’ve got for me,” says the blonde.

Whammo! The black guy gets an immediate erection, the bridge opens up beneath him and he falls into Hell.

The Spanish guy goes next. Mindful of what’s happened to the black guy, he keeps his eyes pointing skywards to avoid the temptation offered by the blonde.

Then two thirds of the way across the bridge, he notices that it’s beginning to sway. Looking down he sees two beautiful women, one wearing a strap on, having sex.

Whoops! Up goes old one eye and down goes the Spaniard as the bridge opens beneath him.

It’s the white guy’s turn.

He looks the blonde straight in the eye and, still flaccid, marches on.

The lesbians redouble their strenuous efforts as he passes them, but it’s to no avail and no erection.

Finally, ten paces from the end of the bridge, he meets a redhead dressed in sexy lingerie, stockings and suspenders. She grabs the white guy, thrusts her tongue down his throat and grinds her pubes into his groin.

No reaction from the white guy, who walks on and into Heaven.

St. Peter meets the white guy at the end of the walk, says “Great job! Welcome to Heaven” and gives him a big hug. And guess what?

The white guy gets an instant erection.

Q: What do you call the foreskin on a gay guy’s dick?

A: A mud flap.